I have spent time over the past week with several different reporters talking about my book. I have been able to discuss the book with ease. I had feared that I would be like a deer in headlights because when people ask me, "what's your book about', for some reason, I can't answer that question. Sitting down with a reporter is much easier because they do not go right for the jugular. They ask questions to get you talking.
I sat down with a local reporter this week, Tony, from the Niagara Falls Review. This was probably the best discussion I have had about my story. Most of my inner circle- friends and family- know the story, so to sit and talk with someone who had no idea who I am or what I have endured was refreshing. Tony is not an "arts and entertainment editor" like the other reporters who have spoken with me. Tony has covered the legal system for almost as long as I have been alive, here locally in Niagara Falls. At the end of the interview, he wanted to get some pictures, one of which he would be using in the story. I was reluctant. "Why?" he asked, "what in the world would you have to fear from this guy?" Of course, I have been afraid of him and what he could do to me for so many years, I suppose I do not even take into consideration the specifics of what exactly it is that I think he can do, especially now. The last action that was taken, which he facilitated, is just about as bad as it gets. The worst thing that he could do is to take my son away from me. It will take some getting used to that this is no longer an option for him.
Tony said, "if anything, he should be scared of you. Look what you have done here. If he wants to come forward and proclaim that this story is about him, it is to admit that the story is about him, which he likely will not want to do." He is right. This 'Teflon Don' has skated on every crime he has committed, misdemeanor and felony alike. This story describes just what a monster he is, and not one word of it is fabricated or even embellished. "And what about your child" he said, "how many years of support has he not paid?" Five plus. Would he risk coming out from under whatever rock he is hiding under to stir things up? Not likely. But all of this hinges on the fact that I have to remain in Canada.
So..... I have this lovely life, a stable marriage, wonderful children, and a good job. I live in a nice home, and drive a new car. On the surface it would seem that things are good! So what is wrong?
I can't go home, into the United States, at all. If you do not know the details, you have to read my book. I drive past the border crossing to the US every day, but I can't go across. I have had a grandparent, and a lovely great aunt pass away, I could not go be with my family as these beloved relatives were in their last days and family gathered to say goodbye. My only sibling, my brother, who I love more than anyone could ever know, nearly died from a heart attack, and had to have triple bi-pass surgery in order to save him and he was only 42 at the time. I was unable to go sit vigil in the waiting room while he was in surgery. I was unable to go sit with him while he was recovering, keeping him company, and letting him know how much he is loved. Both my neice and nephew have graduated high school, and my nephew is getting ready to graduate University, as much as I wanted to go, I couldn't. My nephew is likely to be getting married. My daughters would be flower girls, my son would be an usher, and I would be able to be there to celebrate the occassion with the family, but no. I can't do that either.
So what good has it done to prevent me from being able to go home. It has hurt me and my family, and because there is nothing that we can do about it, the hurt is just going to continue, and I am not the only one who has to pay this price. My family never did anything to deserve being ostracized from me.
There are laws written to protect people from finding themselves in situations like this, yet these laws and civil liberties do not appear to apply to me. Well, they do apply to me, but I have been quoted an estimate of 10 thousand dollars to attempt to have this situation rectified, and even then, there are no guarantees that it would work. It's not bad enough that I endured years of mental torture, which evolved into physical abuse, and even though he was arrested, nothing was done. He stole from a number of his employers, and was caught, nothing was done. Then he broke into my home and took everything right down to the food in my cabinets, nothing was done. Then he embarked on stalking and identity theft, including international mail fraud, and nothing was done even though he broke FEDERAL laws and there was rock solid evidence. He was enabled, even empowered by the legal system. And at the end of the day, when the dust has settled, I am the one facing going to jail.
So, how does this happen?
Well, you have to read my book to get all of the juicy details on how this happened. What I can tell you for certain is that it shouldn't be. I have never once broken the law- yet I am the one facing a felony charge - but in order to rectify this situation, I only have 2 choices: I have to give up my son and go to jail (even if it is temporary), or I have to spend a minimum of 10 thousand dollars to have a lawyer fix it for me, and I have been advised that there are no guarantees that my 10 thousand dollars would not be for nought.
I know that my family all understand this situation, and support me 100% in my decision to stay safely here in Canada, but sometimes I do not think they know how it tortures me to be away from them, and away from home. There is more to "home" than just family- it is just that sense of familiarity, familiar places, places that bring back happy memories, friends, and things that I would like to share with my children, but can't. I will never be driving past a place and say "when I was a kid.... I used to come here..." There are times when I would like to go by my grandmother's grave to drop off a rose and say hello. I would love to take my kids to Disney World, but again, no.
There are times when I cope quite well with this situation, and there are times when it makes me really angry. I have to try to focus on what I do have and not about what I am missing, and who I am missing.
No matter what, HE is the bad person, not me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment